Cabin In The Woods (2012)

I don't know why I'm even writing about this, there isn't much to say except that it's basically the best horror movie ever. If you haven't seen it yet, something is seriously wrong in your life. Joss Whedon, you are my sunshine. This movie makes me happy on at least 12 different levels. I don't even feel the need to talk about it because its awesomeness is so apparent. It's not often that I see a movie and say "I'd like to own that", but there's no question on this one. Coming out on DVD/Blu Ray Sept 18th.


NOTE: It's ok to watch illegally downloaded Korean bootlegs if you ALSO buy the DVD and promote it on your blog.

Death Proof (2007)

Ok, so as of right now you are all jerks for not telling me about this movie. I KNOW you all saw it when Grindhouse came out, even if you were more interested in seeing Rose McGowan's gun leg. All I knew about this movie was that it involved Kurt Russell hassling some girls with his car and probably killing people. Little did I know this was a FEMINIST MASTERPIECE. Here's why.

In a lot of horror movies, and in the lives of real serial killers, women are almost always the victims. To make this palatable, the women are objectified and dehumanized so we don't mourn them as real people but just accept them as a sort of cannon fodder. This is typically accomplished via hyper-sexualization, focusing attention on body parts, and limiting female characters to 2-dimensional stereotypes. And then there's Death Proof.

Do you know what the Bechdel Test is? You definitely should. Go ahead and click the link, I'll wait.

OK, so keeping in mind that I'm always looking out for what passes and what doesn't, imagine my absolute DELIGHT when Death Proof opens with a group of ladyfriends talking about where and how and from whom they are going to get pot for the night. It's not just that they were talking about it, it's that this and so many other conversations between ladyfriends in this movie sound VERY much like conversations I have been a part of and/or witness to. It's incredibly striking how REAL these characters feel. Seriously, I can't get over it.

I'm not going to go through the whole movie breaking down the many ways in which it made me happy because that would be very very long, but just know that if I thought you had the patience and didn't care about spoilers I totally COULD do an in-depth critique and it would be AWESOME. In conclusion, Death Proof was shockingly fantastic.

*NOTE: I originally planned to give this movie 4 stars, but upon reflection decided it gets 5, which means exactly half of my 5-star-rated movies feature Kurt Russell.

Suspiria (1977)

I'll admit I was hesitant to see such a highly-regarded movie. I hate hype; movies almost never live up to it. But I will also admit that I loved Suspiria. The story is simple but strong and effectively creepy, very much like an old fairy tale. And of course, it is absolutely stunning visually. Even if you have no idea what's going on, you can really enjoy just looking at Suspiria, it's that beautiful. Add perfect atmospheric music and you have a real masterpiece. So I guess sometimes movies DO live up to their hype.

Double feature: Ginger Snaps (2000) and Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)

Oh Ginger Snaps, where were you during my adolescence? If this movie had been made in 1995, I would have been obsessed. Essentially Ginger Snaps is like Teen Wolf, but with girls and a hell of a lot darker. As a former angsty teenage girl myself, I felt Ginger and Brigitte were extremely well-written and relatable. Non-cliche lady-centered horror is hard to find, and this is a great one. AND it's one of the better werewolf movies I've seen. Seriously, Ginger Snaps rules.



This is the not-so-happily ever after of our brave heroine Brigitte from Ginger Snaps the First, which is great because more Brigitte is exactly what I wanted. This movie also introduces the character Ghost, a creepy-yet-awesome little girl who teams up with B. Say what you will about sequels; Unleashed is as good or possibly better than its predecessor. I LOVE GINGER SNAPS.

Out by 16 or dead in the scene. Bitch.

The Thing (1982)

THE THING! Why did it take me so long to see this movie? It just hits so many perfect notes. The cramped, poorly-lit interior spaces create the feeling of tension and paranoia, while the eerie blue light on the snowy exteriors contrasted with giant orange blazes is beautiful and other-worldly. The set design and lighting are so carefully crafted here, and so effective. The story is genuinely engaging and characters authentic. And just when it's all getting a little too serious, this happens:



also, FLAMETHROWERS! I love this movie.